Everyday I struggled. Everyday was a constant battle of mind versus body. Everyday I felt like a failure.
When our second son came along we were ecstatic and felt blessed. It hadn't been an easy journey to get him, two miscarriages and a very unhappy, uncomfortable pregnancy, but he arrived safe and sound and we loved him immediately.
Newborn life is always hard, but this time it became particularly difficult as he failed to sleep. No I don't just mean a couple of wakes per night, oh no! That I could have coped with. He woke every 40 minutes, ALL night, EVERY night for about 8 months and the only person who could settle him was me.
On top of that he also had silent reflux and a possible milk intolerance, so to say he has a handful would be an understatement.
I was on my knees and on medication to help me relax and sleep.
Things started to settle down, I had taken up mindfulness and meditation and it was helping then the most awful thing happened! He got poorly. I mean really poorly! So much so that we nearly lost him and we had to learn a whole new way of life.
Even though we had been given the training and my son was home from hospital and I knew he was safe, I still panicked and couldn't stop thinking about 'what if'. I had to go back on the medication I didn't want to be on. The mindfulness and meditation weren't working as well as they had before. I needed help.
One day I was reintroduced to a product which I knew a little bit about but I had totally forgotten about.
I figured, well, why not? I was up for trying anything!
Now my life is dramatically different. I have a healthy, happy boy who has grown up and been able to grow out of his medical needs and I am no longer on the medication. I am stronger, wiser and altogether a more focused and healthy person inside and out and know I have an army of resources which I can reach for at times of need.
I am on a mission to empower other people to learn and experience this knowledge which I have gained and it's all things that I have wanted to try for years, but never known how to start!
I am now expanding the use of these products and knowledge into further branches of my life - my pets, my home and mainly my horses!
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WARNING - Chance of offence or disagreement!!!! Lol!!!!
How many times have you ordered something online, gone on a course, asked someone to do something for you, and many more examples and then felt let down or disappointed with whatever has happened or you have got?
How does this make you feel? Upset, angry, stressed, anxious? Why?????
In the video above and throughout this blog I am going to be talking about expectations versus reality and something which I am trying to do which, so far, has changed my perspective and outcome on life and things which we are dealt with. I am calmer, I am less anxious and I think (people who know me might disagree) I'm happier - but it is bloody (excuse the word!) hard work!!
I listened to a podcast the other month which was based around relationships. I'm going to hold my hands up here and say a relationship that I am part of is not easy! Who doesn't have a difficult relationship with someone right?
Anyway, the podcast was talking about disappointment in another person and what leads to that and something struck home. We are only DISAPPOINTED because we EXPECTED something different to happen. We expected someone to put their clothes in the dirty laundry, we expected someone to say thank you for something, we expected someone to say your hair is nice when you come back from the hairdresser and so on! However, how often do those expectations actually happen?
When we read about a killer weight loss product on the market and we have seen so many amazing results and even Betty down the road has lost 3 stone because of this product we expect it to work for us! But what happens when it doesn't?
We see an amazing jumper online. It looks gorgeous, the reviews are amazing but when it comes it's stiff, uncomfortable and just plain rubbish! Bummer!
And, how many times have you looked forward to an event of some kind - a dinner, a course, a holiday and when it's over or even during it you just feel totally let down and that it was a waste of cash?
All of these expectations that we have are built from our childhoods. Who, reading this, watched the Disney movies and saw Princess meet Prince and fall in love - is that what you expected your marriage to be like? Is it??
My biggest one - I expected pregnancy to be AMAZING!!!! I HATED every moment of it to the point where I suffered pre natal depression!
Anyways, I was listening to the podcast and something they said hit home. If we don't have expectations then we can not feel wronged or disappointed or whatever feeling the reality may bring! When those expectations don't happen who is the one left feeling disappointed? You!!! Does the other person feel it too? No! They generally don't have a clue what they have done wrong and if you challenge them about it then that may end up as a difficult conversation but when it actually stems from what YOU thought should happen.
So, as a consequence I started looking at where I felt that I had expectations that I could easily drop and started to just do the things I expected others to do myself. Picking up the laundry off the floor, replacing the toilet rolls (you know the stuff I'm talking about ladies right?!). However, I started to not get those feelings of disappointment and stress because I thought everyone else should be doing these things and not just me.
I stopped with the negative thoughts when someone said something which before I would have muttered under my breath "Well, you should do that!" I stopped leaving things lying around and watching them for days, seeing who would be the first one to pick them up! Usually me, whilst muttering under my breath!!
Is it easy - hell no!!! Do I still mutter and expect things - yes! I'm only human. However, I know that if this is something i can master then I believe, no I expect(!!??) that I may become less stressed, less disappointed and happier person!
Am I telling you to drop all expectations - no! I'm telling you to look carefully at what those expectations are doing to you - if it's nothing like the above then great! If it is then maybe, just maybe think about what you could do to change that.
What expectations have you had which in reality just don't work? I'd love to hear your stories. :-)
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Today's blog is a little bit different in the sense that instead of sharing my thoughts and ramblings, I'm going to be sharing with you some must have products to have in your cupboard to aid non toxic cleaning of your home.
Hands up who likes cleaning?
Now, if you are like me your hand WILL NOT have gone up in the air! In fact it would have done as much of the complete opposite as humanely possible! I HATE cleaning! Always have done, always will BUT it has to be done right?
The aim of this blog is to help you find ways in which you can slowly, or quickly, ditch the toxins from your home in order to make cleaning less of a chore on your bodily systems. I mean it's already a chore to do it so why should it cause your body problems whilst you're doing it too?
So here is a list of staple ingredients which you will need if you are considering ditching the toxin filled cleaning products and restocking and making your own:
1. Bicarbonate of Soda (baking soda)
A box of this can effectively clean your whole home. It is extremely versatile and can be used in many ways - mild abrasive, scouring agent, deodoriser and can cut through grease and grime.I use bicarb in many of my homemade recipes from cleaning my toothbrushes to cleaning the oven doors. I also use it to make toilet bombs and bath bombs. This is the one that I use but you can purchase Bicarb from many shops both online and in person
2. Citric Acid
This is an acid which is naturally found in citrus fruits and can be used as a natural ingredient in cleaning products because of it's properties and abilities to kill bacteria, mould and mildew. I use citric Acid mainly in products I'm going to use in the bathroom. However, it can also be used elsewhere and can be found in many beauty products and even pesticides too. Here is the one that I have.
3. Sal Suds
This is a new ingredient which I have come across recently. I have always used castille soap for making hand soaps and other cleanser type products however Sal Suds were recommended for making products which use lemon or vinegar. It is a biodegradable cleaner which has been shown to be a little more effective on grease and stains. You can use Sal Suds pretty much anywhere but it can be drying to skin. Here is the one I bought but you can find it in other places. It is not as common as castile soap so you may need to do a bit of searching.
3. Castile Soap
Castile soap is a natural biodegradable product and comes in either liquid or bar form. It can be used for a multitude of homemade products and absolutely safe for vegetarians and vegan households due to it's plant based ingredients. Certain brands can be used for skin care but some others may cause the skin to dry. I use this one as it has a blend of carrier oils which are designed to nourish skin. As mentioned above castile soap is no good for recipes which include vinegar or acid or if you have hard water.
4. Hydrogen Peroxide
Hydrogen Peroxide is a cheaper and healthier version of bleach and can be used for many cleaning products throughout the home. It is basically water with an added oxygen atom which breaks down harmlessly into water and oxygen. It is stronger than white vinegar and has antibacterial and antiviral properties.This is the one that I have but many others are available.
5. White Vinegar
Inexpensive and easily sourced this item is a must for nontoxic home cleaning. It can be used to clean a wide variety of items throughout the home BUT it can damage some materials. I have a whole book dedicated to cleaning with white vinegar and I will be sharing some of the tips and tricks from it over the foreseeable future. Here is the one I have but again there is a wide variety of choice out there.
6. Soda Crystals
Another oldie but goodie. Your grandparents might remember this one as it was used alongside white vinegar and bicarb many years ago for cleaning. Used alongside some of the products mentioned above and indeed on it's own, soda crystals can clean many parts of your home. Here is a link to the ones I have.
7. Thieves Household Cleaner
I couldn't talk about nontoxic cleaning without mentioning this beauty! This has changed my whole cleaning regime at home and has made it a little more enjoyable (yes, you heard me right!!!0. The smell alone is enough to make cleaning less of a chore as it just reminds me of Christmas. Used alongside some of the products above or even on it's own THC is THE ONLY cleaner you need to clean the whole house top to bottom. Yes you can make every product you need from all the ingredients listed above but this one just has that little something extra!! Here is a link to order yours.
So, now over to you - which product will you buy first? Send me an email and let me know -
If you would like to join my group of people who are ditching and switching as we speak then follow this link to join.